Colorful vignettes painted softly with inspiration in hope of recovery blending light humor into adult life confounded by misdiagnosed ADD leading to child abuse drenched under cloudbursts of PTSD.

Complex PTSD is psychological injury resulting from continual abuse. There’s no escape because the abuser is often a parent.
Abusers may have Sadistic Personality Disorder. The hallmark of SPD is that the person enjoys inflicting cruelty upon others.

Introduction: Crescent Moon Howling At The Fool {Reversed}

The Fool (22/0)


We begin
with the Fool,
a card of beginnings.
The Fool stands for each of us
as we begin our journey of life...



He is a fool because only a simple soul
has the innocent faith to undertake such
a journey with all its hazards and pain.
The number 0 is a perfect significator
for the Fool, as it can become
anything when he reaches
his destination.
Zero plus anything
equals the same thing.

Zero times anything equals zero.
Zero is nothing, a lack of substance,
and as such it may reflect a non-issue or
lack of cohesiveness for the subject at hand.
The Fool is usually the protagonist of a story, and
the Major Arcana is the path the Fool takes through
the great mysteries of life and the main human archetypes.
This path is known traditionally in Tarot as The Fool´s Journey.


The figure on Card 0 has his arms flung wide, and his head held high.
At the start of his trip, the Fool is a newborn, fresh, open and spontaneous.


The Fool is unaware of the hardships he will face as he
ventures out to learn the lessons of the world.
He is ready to embrace whatever comes
his way, but he is also oblivious to
the cliff edge he is
about to cross.



The Fool
is the spirit  in
search of experience.

On his back are all the
possessions he might need.
In his hand there is a flower,
showing his appreciation of beauty.
He is frequently accompanied by a dog
nipping at his heels, distracting him.

The Fool
signifies birth,
new beginnings,
and fresh starts, 
journeys and exploration.
He is seemingly unconcerned
that he is standing on a precipice,
apparently about to step off.
The sun shining behind him
represents the divine
nature of the Fool's
wisdom and
exuberance.
The Fool is both
the beginning and the
end, neither and otherwise,
betwixt and between, liminal.
He represents the mystical
cleverness bereft of reason
within us, the childlike
ability to tune into
the inner workings
of the world.
Under
The Moon’s Influence:

The Fool's joy
is a feeling state.
The Moon stimulates
the creative imagination.

His positive emotions are not
yet subject to mental clarity.
These experiences may
cause the Fool to
feel lost and
bewildered.
In fact, it is his
bliss that makes him
vulnerable to the illusions of the Moon.
What effect could spoil this perfect calm?
Is there another challenge for the Fool?
In his dreamy condition, the Fool is
susceptible to fantasy, distortion
and a false picture of the truth.
It opens the way for bizarre
and beautiful thoughts to
bubble up from the
unconscious, but
deep-seated
fears and
anxieties
also arise.
In its Reversed position,
drawn from the deck upside down:

If the energy
of the Fool is about
starting something new,
going somewhere new, then that
energy blocked mean the querent is
having difficulty starting anew, moving,
seeing the world with fresh eyes.
The cliff edge is hanging over
the Fool and his feet have
no real purchase.

We might say
that he's
falling,
dropping
off from
under the rock
to freefall through
the yellow sky.
Everything,
the sack,

the dog,
tumbles with him.
We might interpret this as
the Fool getting completely lost in
his head, in hopes and imagination,
in talk of what he's going to do,

completely surrendering to
the sky, with no way to
actually walk toward
anything, even
disaster.

This,
we might
say, is the Fool
doomed to Foolishness
that makes sense only to him.

He is not in the real world and
whatever he proposes cannot be made real.

There is also an implication of being stuck, uninspired.
The pitfall of over identifying with humanity’s suffering.
It can indicate incomplete or inadequate accommodation
of elements of the subconscious.
Lack of awareness of emotions.
Behavior will be vague,
erratic, illusive,
impersonal,
confused,
unpredictable, or uncertain.
Over-identification of self with
universal emotions at humanity’s suffering.
An element of compassion may be
distorted, false, improper.
The Adoration Trap:  

Making a person or a figurehead the
centerpiece of your emotions,
and much too personally.
In Karmic Tarot,
this position is the
soul’s viewpoint after death.
Upon dying, whatever remains
on his list of lessons to be learned,
the Karmic Contract, is revealed to him.
Thus the soul here knows everything about
the lifetime and he is able to see how efficiently he
moved up the path, how far his consciousness evolved.
This represents, of course, the final step of the
Spiritual Level, but it is also the final step at
the Seventh Stage of Higher Physical
Evolution and suggests correctly that
there is a physical aspect to
the soul itself.
There is a
physical
continuity
from lifetime
to lifetime, albeit
residing on the spiritual level.
Invincibility:

Here is the immortal mortal.
The Magician has learned all his lessons.
Complete lack of fear, through innate knowledge of death.
Understanding of death, both as illusion and hard reality,
that at birth we begin to die; at death we begin to live.
Here is complete balance, centered awareness.

Transcendent of space/time.
To earthly knowledge has been
added much of the knowledge beyond
the veil, and the ability to see beyond
earthly duality while living it.
The ultimate optimist.

Appears very lucky
to onlookers, and is
indeed charmed.


There is much
good humor in all things.

Unmitigated joy, walking on air,
as here is the ability to see the
positive lesson inherent
in any presentation
of negativity, to
transform pain
into pleasure.


Here is
The Fool as
representation of
God’s Will in duality with

the Magicians' {Man’s Will}.
The Fool in knowing that he knows,
also knows what he does not know.
His reaction is "Oh, but of course!"
When opposites reveal themselves

to be but two sides of the same one.
Whenever we discover the surprise
in what was before so hard to see,
there is a relief, a lightening of
the spirit that comes with
the enlightening of
the mind.



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