Colorful vignettes painted softly with inspiration in hope of recovery blending light humor into adult life confounded by misdiagnosed ADD leading to child abuse drenched under cloudbursts of PTSD.

Complex PTSD is psychological injury resulting from continual abuse. There’s no escape because the abuser is often a parent.
Abusers may have Sadistic Personality Disorder. The hallmark of SPD is that the person enjoys inflicting cruelty upon others.

iii: The Imperishable Havanabrownsam


Sam
entered my life
curled snugly asleep
in the palm of my hand.
When told his age, I calculated
his birthday to be January 6, 1989...
Little Christmas!



His sickly appearance stirred
fear and suspicion in all
who passed him by,
unknowingly
saving him
for me...


When
the big
bang that
created his
universe first
opened his baby eyes,
Sam's essence of curious
innocence and magical
charm animated
the world
around!


Within this
four-week young,
scraggly kitty belied
a life force so powerful
it filled the void of
my heart with his
spirit and dwells
there even
to this
day...


I
noticed early on
his body language
delivered accurately
frightening reports that
I was happy or sad, anxious
or calm, angry or hurt, sick or
well as can be, or me
simply being
a jerk!


Of
all the
intelligent
and loving
beings I have
known throughout
life, Sam was the Gem.


We bonded from the instant
our eyes first met until
the moment we last
held paws. The
emerald-green
of his eyes
color my
heart
still...


From
the nip
of his moist
nose, the soft pads
of his paws, to the telling
tip of his tail, he was
chocolate
brown!


We
treasured
together the
wanders in life, for
fifteen short years,
or one third of
my age on
the day his
sun last set...


As the old age of
youth grew closer each year,
Sam's gentle nature kept worry at bay,
and began unawares my recovery into life.
Cast away drifting and tattered, in mirrored
shards on the road of life, malformed into bits
and pieces formed a puzzle, familiar as human,
whole as intended, capable and worthy of
love and compassion, feline or human,
but most importantly of all,
and especially from
myself!


I believe
God had a hand in
ensuring His precious gift
of love and friendship arrived as
intended: cloaked in warmth and meaning,
forever...


Sam's lifelong pal,
Casey, Creator Of Matters... !







No comments:

Post a Comment